I don't think it has quite settled into my mind that I'm really back in the States. How I thought I'd act and feel when arriving back on Monday did not happen. I did not suffer jet lag. I did not cry miserably for hours or seclude myself from others (as I did after my first mission trip). Instead, while I miss the people and the country terribly, and I get teary eyed as I edit the 700+ photos I took while I was there...inside my soul is quiet and filled with hope. I hope that I'll be able to return next year. I hope that it is part of God's will for my life. In addition, I bought tons of envelopes and stationary to write to not only the girl back in Battambang that I sponsor through BrightPoint, but also to many of the other precious souls I connected with during my short time there.
One of my biggest personal concerns was that when I got back I would start to slowly forget about everyone I met while I was there - distracted by the demanding and time consuming lifestyle I lead here. I don't want that. But then yesterday while spending 7 hours at the dentist (long story), as Dr. Patel had half his hand down my mouth giving me a thorough root canal, I had a moment.
I remembered the little children living around the orphanage who we invited over to join in the lessons, crafts, and games. I remember how when many of them smiled up at you shyly, you could see that their teeth were so decayed that they were brown or black in color. I saw this again while at Angkor Wat among the street children trying to sell you 10 postcards or five bracelets for one dollar. I realized how fortunate I was, but it also made me very sad that these precious ones had no access to dental care, among many other things we take for granted in the States.
The children at the New Life Orphanage are blessed and well taken care of, but I know that there are so many other children in Cambodia who do not have the love and care found there. That is where my heart aches the most.
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